“Achieving the Unthinkable: My Top 50 Finish in MyMarathon New Zealand”

Let’s celebrate the support from Paula Skou, Jeanette Preston-Fowlie, Himi Cook, Sonny Cook, Irene Cook, Yvonne Grant, Raymond Grant, Virginia Moynan, Saara Fourie, Caroline Beaufort, Andrew Kunzel, and Noel Grant for their aroha and sponsorship. 299.7 km walked, biked and, rowed. We dug in and blew our original goal out of the water, with a MM ranking placing us in 47th out of 11,238! Thank you to my team of sponsors, we could not have excelled without you all!

Embracing Grief Through MyMarathon & Bradford's Hīkoi: A Journey of Healing

Grief is a deeply personal and often isolating experience, but sometimes, in the midst of our sorrow, we find unique ways to honour our loved ones and begin healing and learning to live with that grief. My journey through grief began with the loss of a unique and beautiful young man, Bradford Maxwell Walter Himi Webster. His departure left an indelible mark in my Wairua, and navigating life without him seemed an insurmountable horrifying challenge. However, participating in MyMarathon and the promise to start Bradford’s Hīkoi became profound steps toward learning to live with this grief by transforming the overwhelming kaleidoscope of emotions and memories into a new creative way of being with my son.  I welcome the memories, share them in conversation with others who knew him or who want to know him through my memories, I talk to him about my struggles, and together we walk, or cycle, at the gym, I replay moments in my mind whilst baking, watching movies, watching his animations and films or viewing his artwork or re-reading his posts, messages and texts I still protect.  This may sound strange to some, but for me it works and helps me to keep moving forward one day at a time. 

The Power of Movement: MyMarathon is more than just a physical challenge; it’s a symbol of endurance and perseverance. Completing a marathon, even virtually, requires mental strength and resilience—qualities I desperately needed to cultivate in the wake of Bradford’s passing. As I laced up my running shoes each day, I felt a connection to Bradford, imagining him cheering me on from beyond. The physical act of walking, rowing or cycling allowed me to channel my emotions into something constructive. Each mile became a tribute to Bradford’s spirit, transforming my sorrow into a celebration of his life.

The Significance of Bradford’s Hīkoi: Bradford’s Hīkoi, a journey of walking, cycling and rowing, held a deeper cultural and spiritual significance. In Māori culture, a hīkoi is a purposeful walk, often symbolizing a journey of growth, healing, and connection. Participating in Bradford’s Hīkoi was not just about putting one foot in front of the other; it was a way to honour his heritage and embrace the teachings he left behind. Walking in his memory allowed me to reflect on our moments together, the lessons he taught me, and the love he shared with those around him.  When Bradford felt alone, stressed or creatively blocked I actively encouraged for him to put his headphones on and listen to his playlist, walk and focus on just enjoying being outside in the fresh air, or listening to the birds and the sounds his steps would make on the gravel of the Kapiti Coast trails. Over time it was his way to escape from the institutional noise of educational demands, bullying from those who never took the time to really get to know him, work and home life ebbs and flows.  Bradford’s mental, emotional and physical strength blossomed and his confidence and creativity in the art’s evolved from college through to university, from home to sharing an Apartment with his twin and flatmates he grew, but then life happened.

Sharing the Journey: One of the most challenging aspects of grief is the feeling of isolation. Sharing my experiences with MyMarathon and Bradford’s Hīkoi became a bridge connecting me to others who understood my pain. Friends, family, and even strangers who heard Bradford’s story reached out with messages of support, empathy, and encouragement. These interactions reminded me that I was not alone in my grief; I was part of a community that cared and understood the journey I was on.

Lessons Learned:Through MyMarathon and Bradford’s Hīkoi, I learned several valuable lessons about living with grief:

Movement Heals: Physical activity can be a powerful tool in processing emotions. Whether it’s running, walking, or any other form of exercise, moving your body can help clear your mind and soothe your soul.

Cultural Connections Matter: Embracing cultural practices and rituals can provide comfort and a sense of continuity. For me, participating in a hīkoi was a way to connect with Bradford’s heritage and keep his spirit alive.

Community Support is Vital: Sharing your grief journey with others can lighten the emotional load. The support and understanding of a community can provide immense comfort during difficult times.

Honouring Memories: Finding ways to honour and remember your loved one can transform grief into a celebration of their life. Every mile I walked, rowed or cycled and every step I took was a tribute to Bradford’s memory.

Moving through: Living with grief is a continuous journey, and while the pain never fully disappears, it evolves into something more bearable over time. MyMarathon and Bradford’s Hīkoi were pivotal in my healing process, offering me a way to honour my son Bradford and move forward with a sense of purpose and hope. As I continue to navigate life without him, I hold onto the lessons learned and the strength gained from these experiences.

Bradford Maxwell Walter Himi Webster’s light continues to shine in my wāirua, guiding me through the darkest days and reminding me of the beauty and love that remain. Through movement, cultural connection, and community, I am learning to live with grief, one step at a time.  I will always love you eternally son, I will never stop sharing with you every step of my life journey.  11 Sept 002 - 22 Sept 2023.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Today was especially hard for me, my husband and my beautifully brave daughter Aneika.  Today is the first mothers day we will not be sharing it with Aneika's twin brother Bradford.  My daughter gifted me some wonderful gifts none more so than a card she bought and created a heart felt message.  It has filled me with so much love to have been blessed with such loving humans.  To all the mothers or soon to be mothers, cherish every day you have with them, they are your success!

MyMarathon & Bradfords Hīkoi

Embark on a journey with me as I fulfill a promise made to my son, Bradford. Starting from Marton in the Manawatu-Whanganui and Rangitikei, I will traverse New Zealand, employing various modes of travel – walking, cycling, rowing, and more – throughout the month of May.

Every day, three times a day, I will keep active and document my progress. My path will lead me to the untamed beauty of the Wild West Coast of Hokitika, then over to Canterbury, and finally up to Picton before returning home to Bradford's Haven in Marton.

But this journey is not just about physical exertion. It's about honoring Bradford's legacy as a giver, not a taker. That's why my promise has evolved to include raising funds for multiple charities. Bradford's spirit of generosity lives on through these efforts.

As I take my first steps, I carry with me a photo of Bradford and myself at Whareroa Farm Kapiti Coast trails – a reminder of his vibrant spirit and the love we shared. This charity marathon, and those to follow, are dedicated to his memory and the legacy of his compassionate heart.

Bradford Maxwell Walter Himi Webster may no longer walk beside us, but his presence is felt every step of the way. Join me as we honor his memory and make a difference in the lives of others.

Support my challenge to save Kiwi Hearts

Today, I’m taking part in MyMarathon to raise funds for heart research that will help save lives.

Every 90 minutes, a person dies of heart disease.